Discord - Zed's Journal: Pages 16-20

Day Nineteen

Today Master Jian-min had us training again, and he didn't seem any different from usual, other than the coldness in his voice. I feel strangely empty, especially when I see Hua trying to do her chores and pausing to cry every so often. Both her father and brother have outwardly overcome Ai's death, but she's still grieving.

As we were practicing strikes on sandbags, I saw Hua wiping her eyes.

That was when Master Jian-min put his hands on her shoulders and told her sternly that she had to stop this childish nonsense and be strong for the clan. Hua almost started crying more, but he gave her such a deathly look that she stopped and headed off quick.

"Master," I said, stepping back from my bag. "If you believe in balance, why can't you let her grieve? She's always so happy, but she needs to go through the process of mourning now."

"Zed," he narrowed his eyes, his voice low as he stepped closer. "There is a fine balance between arrogance and humility. If you interfere in matters between me and my daughter anymore, I will humble you."

I gritted my teeth, but nodded stiffly and turned back to my bag to strike. This time I could feel the difference in speed and power.

I wished the sandbag was his face.

A few hours later we finished for the day, and Master Jian-min nodded to both of us. "Good work today, boys. Zed, you need to focus more on your precision and speed."

"Yes, sir." I narrowed my eyes, shouldering past Shen into the house. After I had changed into a light outfit, I headed for the kitchens to find Hua standing with a knife in her hands, pointed on a direct course to her heart.

With a wild lunge, I managed to grab the knife as she struggled to push against me. My hand burned at the deep cut, but I managed to wrestle it out of her grip.

"Zed! Give it back!" she sobbed, punching me and trying to reclaim her method of death.

"No." I said, holding it back. "I won't let you take such a cowardly way out."

"What's left for me here?" she wept, sinking to the floor. "My father isn't the same, Shen will never be able to help me... my mother's gone. I want to be with her again. I can't live alone in the midst of so many."

"I'm here for you." I whispered, placing the knife on the counter as I knelt in front of her. "You don't have to be alone."
Hua said nothing for a long time, then she took a cloth and wrapped it around my hand.
"Thank you." she mumbled.
"Any time." I smiled, stroking her soft cheek. "I'll always be here for you."
She sighed and leaned into me. "I just wish my mother was too."
"I know." I hugged her tight. "I know."
After she had calmed down, I helped clean up the blood that had gotten everywhere, then I took her for a walk in the fields.

"How did you get over the death of your parents?" she asked as she took my hand.

"Well, I just told myself that it happens eventually. They weren't here anymore, so what was the point carrying on about it?" I shrugged. "I didn't have time to cry about it, anyway. I had to work hard to get food and places to sleep."

Hua sighed. "I'm sorry. I know I'm acting like a child about this. I just..."
She sniffed and shook her head. "I was so close with her. She was the one who held our family together; she kept father from being too serious all the time, and she was always kind to everyone. I wish you could have known her, but she got sick a few days after you came, which was why she wasn't around much. Father said it was none of your business."

"Yeah, I figured." I said as I looked up at the forest before us. "You're not scared of woods, are you?"
"No." she answered. "Why?"
"Because we're going to climb some trees." I smiled, leading her to a tall, sturdy tree. "C'mon."
"Zed..." she tried, then gave a soft smile as she hiked up her skirts to climb after me. "Not for long, though. Father will get worried."
"We won't be long." I promised, then helped her up to see above the canopy. She laughed as the wind teased her hair from its bun. I helped as well, taking out all her pins so her long dark brown hair was free from its prison.
"Life is still beautiful." I said quietly, pulling her close with an arm.
"Mhmm." she agreed, then smiled up at me. "Thank you, Zed."
"Anything for you, Hua." I responded, then leaned in closer.
Amazingly, she didn't pull away from me. In fact, she came closer so it was easier for me.
Slowly I kissed her mouth, trying to do what I had seen on the rare occasion. I hoped I didn't seem like it was my first time... which it was.
"Zed, just do what you want." she interrupted, smirking.
"I thought you'd like it if I was-"
"Don't try to be what you aren't." she laughed. "Just be you."
"Okay." I smiled. Then I kissed her again, only with no fancy stuff. She seemed to like it more than the first way.
We didn't say anything on the way back to the house, but when I looked back Hua's cheeks were slightly pink and she wouldn't stop smiling. I felt the same way.
"I'll see you at supper." I said.
She nodded, then squeezed my hand before going into the house quickly.

I couldn't quench my smile as I went to my room and flopped back on my bed. I still can't believe I kissed her... or that she let me.
Supper went by quickly, and we didn't get to speak for the rest of the evening. I don't mind. I can talk to her tomorrow.
I don't know how to put this feeling into words, but my heart feels like it'll jump out of my chest, and I can't think of anything that could dampen my mood.
I think I love her.

Day Twenty-Five

Today we worked more on counters. Master Jian-min said the offensive strikes come last, and I swear he's doing that just to annoy me. I want to learn those moves so I don't have to sit around waiting for my opponent to make the first move.

I sparred mostly with Shen, but after we had practiced the counters enough, Master Jian-min let us go out into the sparring ring.

There were a few other students there already, and I asked one to let me practice with him. He showed me a few of the offensive strikes, and I helped him to perfect his counters. Then we sparred for a while.
I beat him each time.
He bowed afterward, and said I was really good. I told him he was pretty good too, but he needed to work on a few of his techniques. Maybe if I can keep doing this, I'll be able to break Shen's defenses and earn a bit of praise from Master Jian-min.

After I had done a bit of the water training (we have a system for training without rain), I went to help Hua with supper. She's a great cook, and I had a lot of fun just being with her. She's very funny and happy; just watching her brings a smile to my face.

Once supper was done, Master Jian-min bid us goodnight, then left the table to me, Shen and Hua. Shen left soon after, saying that he wanted to go to bed. I asked Hua to wait, then went to the kitchens and cut up some peaches and figs for us, then brought it back to the table.

She asked me how training was coming, and I told her that I was doing well against the other students. Shen was someone I couldn't seem to win or lose to, and she listened to me with interest as I described my matches with her brother.

After we had talked for a few hours, she lit a candle and bid me goodnight and left after kissing me on the cheek. I'm still smiling as I write this.